Unluckiest Person Ever

I'm a person that has some belief in luck...well, let me rephrase that... I truly believe that some people are 'more' lucky than others... and not necessarily in life but just in ordinary situations that make those that are destined to be 'unlucky' and a person like me realize that I would trade most, if not all, of my attributes if they are worth anything, which I would hope they would be -
just to be lucky. But, for me, luck has never been on my side... in fact, I think there has been a very rare occasion, and odds are it was for nothing or less, that I actually "got lucky".

And before I continue, I don't want to sound like I am complaining or whining because I still believe that some how, some way, that luck has to hit me some time...right? I'm a pragmatic person... I am rooted in facts and sound theories... but, I can truly and honestly say that I challenge any person to be more unlucky than me...

So let's start out with the Super Bowl pools - more on the Super Bowl later which, I thought was a very good game - you know the Super Bowl pools where you simply pay some money and write your name in a square and if your 'numbers' hit, you win money...right, we all know the drill. Just to start out with the unlucky theme...which I guess was the stimulus for this post...I know for a fact that I have entered a Super Bowl square pool every year for at least 20 years... yes, since 1985... and I think that may even be short by a year or five but to be honest, I'lll say '85... and to this date I have won exactly $0.00 from said pools... and no big deal, anytime you enter a 'pool' if you intend to win you are probably mistaken- well, I guess I have no experience or luck so I think that it is all a waste of money, so my perspective is obviously skewed...I had fully intended on posting a piece on how the Super Bowl square pools are simply a small lottery and you need to be lucky to win anyways because it is true...and most people have some luck, which will further elaborate my point of me having no luck...

Ok, a person can easily say that they too have not won a Super Bowl square pool either... but I can also say that I have also never won a raffle, lottery or even a prize drawing regardless of the entrants in my entire life. In fact, I - with witnesses - can say that I played a bingo game in which the objective was to have the last number left in the hopper be left on your card and thus you would win a free drink at a small bar that the game was being played at... so this game is right up my alley... to not win... to literally have a bingo card that will have the absolute last number pulled from the hopper to win... and as "luck" would have it, I had that card... but I was playing in a bar with 14 other people and if I had no luck it would be better than the bad luck that I have, because of course one other person had that last number left on their card as well. So what happens? A mere cut of the cards to see who wins the big prize (which I think was a free drink) and I lose...

And in fact... to further go into the depths of my history, I am almost 99.9% confident that I have never won a prize, or at least a worthwhile prize, that involved a drawing, a raffle, or just pure coincidence... and let me say right now that I really am not bitter with the fact because I am use to it...

Let me just further illustrate a little bit of what my "luck" entails...

Saturday night poker game... it's a cash game with 6 guys playing... the game gets pretty "hot" right off the get-go with players betting heavy with some winning on a pair of fours and high cards. The first hand I get involved in, I have a pair of queens - and after seeing all the action on high card and shitty low pairs I'm thinking I'm sitting alright - so another queen comes on the flop for 3 queens for me... of course I am betting heavy prior to the flop and after the flop because I am thinking I have this hand wrapped up. But I lose because someone stays in on 9 jack and hits a straight on runner-runner... right there, are you kidding me? A 9-jack and you are, first calling my pre-flop raise which was more than respectable, then postflop bet which was, again, respectable? I would never think to call pre-flop with that garbage, and especially after not hitting shit and needing a 2 card hit, but continuing to call on a runner-runner hit... but of course they hit the straight and beat my 3 queens...how's that for luck...? Tonight after the Super Bowl a card game starts up...11 players.. I don't play a hand for almost an hour.. get garbage the entire time. People are winning, again, on high card or low pair and basically garbage... 8 of us are left, I get dealt a pair of queens before the flop, the first big pair seen all game - and of course I lose... not necessarily bad luck, but just no luck for me which is really the best I can hope for... I really hope for no bad luck because I know I have no luck...

So you don't play cards and don't understand the bad luck I just detailed...o.k. ... well, as I began this post with, regarding the Super Bowl pools... and I really don't won't to make the Super Bowl pools a big deal, but as I talked with others that attended, apparently everyone else has won at least once, if not multiple times, in a Super Bowl pool... in fact, the 2 of the guys I was with had won in previous years and of course win this year as well, and not just win the Super Bowl pools, but win the free drawings and other free prizes by merely showing up... what did I win...nothing. Which has me to thinking... what the fuck? I never win anything ever...EVER...I NEVER WIN ANYTHING EVER...do I sound bitter yet? Because the more I continue the more bitter I think I am getting but I really don't intend too...

And to wrap up this post, to simplify my luck... or lack of... one of my friends - who can't lose and is lucky, unlike me - wanted to bet $3 on the coin flip of the Super Bowl... I'm thinking "What the hell, I probably have the best chances ever to win something.... 50/50" I had heads, he had tails...Coin flip: tails. Before the game is over he ends up winning well over $100 and some door prizes. Me, I won exactly jack-squat.

Which further proves my theory that I have bad luck or no luck...

And I will now make this promise to all my regular blog viewers that if I ever win anything in a raffle, drawing, lottery or by chance/luck I will post it here...but what makes me even more curious is the factor of luck... and as of right now, I am willing to put my record of bad luck against anyone else's... and for starters, if you have won anything by a raffle, drawing, pick or by chance, even once, you are already one up on me. Then, as a tie-break, we can factor in all other facets of life and like George Costanza making his plea for the sweet apartment (...she was in fact a Nazi), I think my body of work in bad luck is unparalleled and am willing to put it up against anyone...And let me also say that I haven't stopped trying... I usually sign up for at least 2, 3 or more Super Bowl pools and I buy at least 6-20 raffle tickets for various charities every year and to date I haven't won anything.

As kind of a postscript to further illustrate my luck or lack thereof... my fantasy football team lost to the worst team in our fantasy league last year because they had Rod Bironas and of course I played that team the week he set the NFL record for field goals so I of course lost. My fantasy hockey team is currently 40 games out of first place in a head-to-head league and I have yet to win a week alright and am 7 games behind the team directly in front of me... a person who doesn't even try could do just as well or better than me in that league...yet you look at my team and most say "it isn't that bad..."

And to conclude, I really am not bitter about any of this... although it may appear that I am... and O.K. maybe I will just question the laws of the universe on how this is all possible but I really don't lose any sleep over it because I am use to it... I may get 'lucky' and win a small cash game cards...which I will admit that I have done but I am not willing to admit that luck or chance had anything to do with it - not because I am arrogant or full of my self but know my 'luck factor'...but as cynical and probably illogical as it may seem, I am willing to boast that I lose because I either have no luck or bad luck...