Thursday, December 27, 2007

Chargers Pummel Broncos; Holiday Cheers

It has a been a pretty good vacation...almost too good...

Christmas Eve the Chargers thoroughly pounded the Broncos. I find personal satisfaction any year the Chargers beat the Broncos twice and with the 2 ass-kickings the Chargers gave to the Broncos this year will give me some joy after the inevitable playoff loss that looms in the Chargers future.

So far on vacation I've played a ton of video games, some by myself and others with my 5 year-old son who, of course, received several new games to play. I've been drinking way too much every day, eating way too much every day and staying up way too late every night. I need to go into work for a brief period today and I am not sure how my body will respond...but I will attempt to remedy any afflictions by pigging out and having some beers later...

Hopefully everyone that reads this is also enjoying the holiday season...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Steroids Admissions

First Andy Pettitte comes out and admits to using steroids and now Brian Roberts does the same. And I think you will probably see even more players doing so with of course an 'excuse' ... it was to recover from injury or I just tried it once or whatever they can do to try and separate themselves from being labeled as chronic steroid users like Bonds and Clemens. And like Bonds, Clemens has come out to deny that he has ever used steroids... you see, Bonds and Clemens never even used steroids even once and to even mention that they did will bring out denials and tirades from these two players to think that achieved their 'greatness' in baseball with the aid of steroids.

But I do believe that there has yet to be an athlete that was accused of using steroids and then later vindicated by some means. In fact, when Jose Canseco's book came out a few years ago claiming Mark McGwire, as well as others, used steroids folks in the media scoffed at Canseco and his book was merely about money. But as time has passed, Canseco's allegations are being proven true with each passing day and what many thought was a book that should be placed in the fiction section holds more truths than lies.

Dick In A Box

What do you get the girl you want to impress? A dick in the box of course...

From SNL last year, here's the uncensored version of "Dick In A Box", a pretty good digital short with Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg. Merry Christmas.

Chargers Destroy Lions; Clinch AFC West

The Lions looked like a team that had no desire to compete this past Sunday. Jon Kitna threw 5, yes 5(!), interceptions as the Chargers gave the Lions a 51-14 ass-kicking to clinch the AFC West. Tomlinson played in only the first half but still had 116 yards and 2 touchdowns. Antonio Cromartie continues to set the NFL interception pace with his 10th of the season...and he hasn't even started all year, imagine if he had!

It will be interesting to see what the Chargers do down the stretch. Pittsburgh lost to Jacksonville and as a result the Chargers moved up to the number 3 seed and if they win out, obviously would hold that spot which would mean a delayed meeting with the Patriots...if they were to make it that far. Listening to the sports talkers yesterday...who of course were off the Charger bandwagon 4, 5 weeks ago but now are back on...point out that if things remain as they are in the AFC, the Chargers would face the Browns in the first round of the playoffs, which seems to be a favorable matchup for the Chargers. I still don't know what to expect of this team... it seems like the defense has really stepped up lately but the offense has yet to perform as it was expected too. Games the Chargers have won in lop-sided fashion have all been because the defense has forced turnovers and given the offense opportunities. A Christmas eve game against the Broncos is next up for the Chargers and then on to Oakland... I would think the Chargers would want to play their starters and win these games for playoff positioning, but I have no faith in Norv Turner and am just waiting for the wheels to come off...

In the meantime...my vacation has begun! My son and I are loving every second of not doing anything and have absolutely nothing planned for the remainder of the Christmas break!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Lazy Sunday

(Originally posted 12/21/05)

Just found the video for the Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg SNL rap sketch "Lazy Sunday"...

I think Chris Parnell's raps are pretty good as well as funny...

And most importantly:

Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious

UPDATED 12/14/07

NBC has had all of it's videos removed from unauthorized sources and started it's own video service through Hulu.com...which is good/bad. Bad because all my video links that I've posted in the past of SNL sketches are no longer viewable. Good, because hopefully now that I am using their service, they will remain on my blog! Here's a repost of Lazy Sunday...

Thanks Texans, Christmas Hiatus

Last night the Houston Texans helped the Chargers out by giving the Broncos a 31-13 beat down. The Chargers have to win just one of their last 3 games to clinch their 2nd straight AFC West championship. I watched the game last night and other than watching the Broncos get their ass kicked, which is always worth watching, the other real pleasant part of the game was no Bryant Gumble! Tom Hammond was doing the play-by-play and he is 1 billion times better than Gumble...it would be great if that was a permanent change.

And a holiday note... I am on vacation starting on Sunday until next year so posting will probably taper off a bit...but I'll try to check in. My 5 year-old son is already really stoked because he won't have to go to daycare and it will be him and myself hanging out for a little more than 2 weeks...

So, hopefully everyone has a safe and happy holidays!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Mitchell Report: A Dud Of A Bombshell

So the Mitchell Report is out and to say it is nothing but a bunch of crap is to say the least. Sure, it named names, but with the exception of Clemens, Pettitte and Tejada the rest of the list is filled with a bunch of already known roid users, has-beens, retired players or nobodies. No, I wasn't expected 60-80 All-Stars named in the Mitchell report, but I was thinking I would see more active players, more 'big' names and not the same big names like Bonds, Sheffield and Palmeiro. Sure, you got Miguel Tejada and Paul Lo Duca but the number of 'nobodies' compared to big names is very disproportionate. Which leads me to believe that the roid use was even more widespread than anyone could have imagined because if the players that sucked were on roids, how many of the 'good' players were also on them, just clever enough to not get caught. Plus, no Ivan Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa or Mark McGwire - just to name 3 roid-boys off the top of my head - are all missing? What? Just proof that this entire investigation will amount to little, if anything, actually happening to most of the cheaters...what a sham and, likely, exactly what Selig wanted. I find it highly doubtful that Selig will do anything other than implement 'better' drug testing and will allow the cheaters to go unpunished and reap their rewards for their tainted performances.

The Bombshell Hits Today: Proving MLB Is A Joke

If you follow sports and unless you are living in a cave you know that the Mitchell report is coming out today and is going to name names. Just listening to the radio talk this morning already some things are being 'leaked' out. Whether or not they are included in the Mitchell report or not, but one such rumor is that Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte were on steroids as well as many more Yankees... in fact, the word is that A LOT of Yankees were on the juice.

Of course, that could be just the tip of the iceberg and really does prove once and for all that MLB is a freakin' joke. With baseball's biggest stars all being named as juicers the likelihood that any actual 'punishment' towards any of them will be unlikely because they are too numerous to punish and what is the spineless Selig going to do? Wipe the books of 60-80 of baseball's stars? Of course not. He will come out and say that because so many cheaters were found and many weren't found that no action can be taken and the stats of all these cheaters will remain intact because it was just cheaters playing other cheaters so everything is relative.

Then we fast-forward 5, 10, 15 years from now when these players will all be up for Hall Of Fame induction... because no punishment was issued, their stats and records able to stand and because of that, have to be inducted into the Hall Of Fame. And then you go to the most notable cheater, Barry Bonds...how can baseball do anything against him? All he allegedly did was perjure himself and obstruct justice (as well as use steroids), so how is he any worse than any of the other cheaters? He isn't at all...

In the end, I have the hunch, that Selig will come out and verbally admonish all the cheaters and say that this was a dark time for the MLB. But the end result will be nothing but the proof that players cheated and nothing else...whoopie-fucking-doo. It means that the cheaters will get away with cheating and I even have the feeling that a campaign of 'acceptance' will begin that will try and get fans and the public to accept the cheaters. In the end, Selig and MLB will try and sweep this under the rug and in 10 years from now the only way anyone will know who cheated or not will be by looking at the unbeatable records the cheaters set during the steroid era.

I also foresee ESPN loving every second of this and I see ESPN taking it's typical approach towards this controversy...at first, today and in the short-term, ESPN and it's "analysts" will all be appalled at the extent of the Mitchell report and call for radical action. Then in a month, maybe two, they will be part of the p.r. campaign to get people to forget about it or to accept it...and of course they will because ESPN has MLB on it's airwaves and needs to save it's product. If this was the NHL, ESPN would call for the league to fold or expelled from the U.S.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Charities: The New Scam

I really need to become the governing entity of a charity because I think, without question, that if the charity 'appears' heart-warming I could easily retire. Now, let me say that not all charities are a total sham but more and more are becoming so.

The one that caught my eye... Mike Ditka's Hall Of Fame Assistance Fund, which was set up to help retired NFL players that are getting jack-squat from the NFL Player's Unioin and are literally impoverished. Seems like a worthy cause, especially for sports minded donors, but like many charities of today, the charity takes in a truckload of money and then distributes a pittance of it...in this case, the Hall Of Fame Assistance Fund took in $1.3 million and distributed less than $200,000.

So where does the rest of the money go to? Oh sure, you need office supplies, have to pay the rent, heat and electricity and so on...but there is no way that costs even a million bucks a year. So where does the rest of the money go to? That's right the caretakers of the charity itself...the administrator and those employed by the charity are likely making the lion's share of the donations which clearly shows that the charity really doesn't care about making sure the donations that were received are actually given to those that they promised it would get too. United Way and PETA have both been noted in the past as to having elaborate banquets, salaries and extravagant employee 'perks' just to point out a couple of other notable charities.

So as soon as I can figure out the 'feel good' charity that I wish to start, I will begin accepting donations and hopefully retire shortly after that... so stay tuned and give generously to those in need!

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Non-Computer User Needs The Computer

I have to believe everyone knows a person that openly scorns the computer, the internet and technology in general. Anytime in general conversation someone mentions any 'tekkie' term, like the word computer, the non-computer user (let's refer to them as ncu from this point on) is usually very quick and will very confidently "I have no use for the internet or computers. Nothing but a waste of time and I don't have enough time for all that shit. Don't need them anyways." And go through life blissfully on...for they have defied the world and prove that you don't need a computer or the internet to survive in today's complex world. But let's get right down to the bottom of this... any ncu is basically proclaiming that they are stupid is what they really are doing.

So then, of course, the day comes...whatever the event may be, but it has and/or will happen again. That is, there is something on the internet or that needs to be done using a computer that the ncu will eventually need, and then what happens? Well everyone knows of course...the ncu, who has openly defied and cursed the magic electronic box, now gains so much reasons to hate computers and the internet because whatever they seeking to do using the computer will no-doubtedly not go well because the ncu doesn't even know the basics of computer use. So they will make a phone call to someone that may help them and their conversation may resemble something like this:

NCU: Where's Microsoft Works? That's the only program I've ever used and I know how to use
it!
Smart People: Uh, Works? That hasn't been made in almost 10 years, everyone uses Microsoft Word now.
NCU: Word? Well, where can I get Works, that's the only program I know.
Smart People: Try using Word, it's pretty much the same thing. Besides, does it really matter? If you haven't used a newer program than Works, are you sure you really know it that well anymore anyways?

(next conversation)

NCU
: I'm on the internet and can't see the web site I want to go to.
Smart People: Ok, have you updated your web browser to make sure it is the most current?
NCU: What's a web browser? I'm just using the internet?
Smart People: Well, you need the web browser to view content on the internet...what program are you using to view web pages?
NCU: How can I find out?
Smart People: Click the help button and go to the about button.
NCU: Hey that's cool, it tells you right there... I am using Internet Explorer... oh, I could have told you that, that's what was printed under the little icon that I clicked, you should have just asked what icon I clicked...geez.
Smart People: Ok, looks like your version is up to date...is your connection to the internet working properly?
NCU: What connection would that be? I followed the instructions and have my printer and keyboard plugged in...even got the mouse to work.
Smart People: That's great...but no, you should be paying for some sort of internet connection...you usually have a modem that plugs into the phone jack or possibly the cable that you get your cable tv from.
NCU: I guess I don't follow you. I got my computer and set it all up and turned it on, wouldn't the internet come with a brand new computer?

These are just 2 of the typical conversations you would get from a ncu and in both cases, the ncu would leave their computer experience with more disgust and disdain for computers and the internet than they had prior too each experience. They will loudly and proudly gloat with other ncu's "So I bought this new computer and it didn't even come with Microsoft Works or the internet so what good are the pieces of shit?" An agreeing ncu will reply, "I hear ya. I had an email address for a while and I still haven't gotten any money from Bill Gates, Amazon.com and a bunch of other places that said that I would get money if I forwarded their emails to all my contacts...which I did. The internet and computers are just for morons!"

Winter Drivers

With winter in full gear in the barren wasteland one might think this area becomes a 'Winter Wonderland'. That might be true for a day or maybe even 2 days, but after a few weeks of snow and cold, anyone that spends anytime in the barren wasteland during winter quickly tires of sub-zero temperatures, wind and snow. Then to add to the misery of cold, wind and snow, if you live in any sort of metro area in the wasteland you then add the 4th element you must battle all winter long...that being other drivers. For you see, when the roads get covered in snow and/or ice some folks in this area alter their normal driving habits...and I guess maybe some don't alter their driving method at all and are just naturally crappy drivers. So what kind of winter drivers are they? There are 2 basic 'winter drivers' with the rest of use subjected to their driving skill, or lack thereof.

The first winter driver is the "I'm scared to be even driving in these conditions" driver. A person can easily recognize these drivers because they will typically be driving a 4-wheel drive vehicle with all the wipers (both front and rear) on high-speed and driving as slowly as possibly, preferably slower than 10 MPH. For you see, their entire energy is focused on keeping their SUV on the road...they fear if they get stuck on some road that they will never be found and die in a matter of moments. Never mind that behind these people is a line of traffic that stretches as far as a person can see. When the scaredy cat driver finally does turn off the road there is much joy and rejoicing as the following drivers can then at least resume their travels at a rate that is faster than a person walking. The scaredy cat driver also doesn't realize that going 5 MPH into a snow drift guarantees you getting stuck...but going thru a drift at a normal rate of speed is usually all that is needed to prevent you from getting stuck.

The other winter driver is the "I'm not scared of driving in these conditions" driver. Very recognizable driver as well. This person will typically have a jacked-up 4x4 truck... and usually not a 'cute' SUV but a full-sized truck or suburban. These drivers have no patience for anyone on the roads because, you see, these conditions are exactly what the driver has been waiting for... finally a reason to lock into 4 by mode and drive thru snowdrifts as if you were in an off-road rally race set in the snow. They scoff at speed limits... sure, they'll drive 25 mph in the summer down a road but in the winter time, with snow drifts and ice means that they now need to do 45 to exhibit their lack of fear towards snow on the streets. If they happen to be following you, regardless of how fast or slow you will be traveling at, they will instantly drive up onto your bumper and make sure to 'rev up' their motor at every opportunity to keep you informed that they are impatiently waiting behind you to drive somewhere...for you see, if you have a huge 4x4 truck and you are driving it in a blizzard, your tasks are by far more pressing than anyone else's. Because during a winter snowfall/blizzard the 4x4 driver will often times utilize 'alternate' routes to get by a slower moving vehicle...by alternate routes, I mean it is not uncommon to see one of these dolts driving on sidewalks or cutting corners by going over the curb and because everything is snow covered, they feel justified.

Now, I am by no means advocating people to drive in an unsafe manner or be inconsiderate to anyone in any driving conditions. But with the large amount of snowfall this area got last week has had me in traffic with some of the finest 'winter drivers' this area has. I also must note, that I traded in my SUV 2 years ago (gas money) and at first was a little apprehensive about driving a car around in the winter time...but the 3, maybe 4 times a person actually had to have their vehicle in 4 wheel drive really proves that sure, 4 wheel drive in the winter almost guarantees a person not getting stuck, but a person can drive safely and at the posted street limits with few problems if they just drive in a manner that is safe for everyone. I think the scaredy cat drivers and the winter rally racers are both types of people that add stress to winter driving and there is usually nothing more comical than being behind a rally racer who is behind a scaredy cat driver because the rally racer will sometimes contemplate driving right over the vehicle in front of them...because again, they have somewhere important to go regardless of the driving conditions.

Chargers Rally, Beat Titans In OT

The Chargers had to score 14 points in the 4th quarter, with the last touchdown coming with little time left, to send the game into overtime. The Titans' defense looked as if it was dominating the Chargers for the entire game until the final quarter when the Chargers, down 17-3, had to muster up some offense if it wanted to make a game of it. The Chargers did just that. The final drive of regulation wasn't without some controversy for the Chargers... 2 plays were reviewed, one where Tomlinson clearly was out of bounds when he caught a 3rd and 5 pass and the following play, on 4th and 5, a pass to Chambers was reviewed, but because there was no clear view, the catch and subsequent first down stood and the Chargers would score the game tying touchdown on that final drive.

Tomlinson scored on a 16 yard touchdown run to nix any field goal attempt and end the game in an overtime that both teams had the ball but the Chargers were able to keep the Titans pinned in and win the field position battle.

The Chargers defense played just as well as the Titans. Merriman played the first half and then got dinged up on what he suspects was a 'dirty play'. He was having a good game up to that point with a couple of sacks and an unrelenting pass rush. And that has been the big difference for the Chargers today than it was at the beginning of the season...the pass rush. The Chargers didn't seem to have any sort of rush until recently and it seems to be really effective.

Philip Rivers was playing absolutely horrible for most of the game but seemed to gather things together for the final quarter and gained more passing yards in one drive then he did for the rest of the game. He had 2 interceptions, was knocked out briefly in the 2nd quarter, in which Billy Volek came in and threw an interception of his own, and Rivers was sacked 4 times...the most of his career. Tomlinson, too, was having an unimpressive game until the 2nd half and then finished with over 100+ yards and had a rushing and receiving touchdown with, of course, the rushing td the game winner.

Both teams seemed to have players dropping like flies and at times the game seemed to get a little 'chippy'. Fullback Lorenzo Neal, for the Chargers, is likely out for the rest of the season, Gates was injured but came back and scored the game-tying touchdown.

The Charger offense still is hit and miss. The defense seems to be playing better, but that may likely be because the offenses they have been playing lately are not that good or, in the case of the Indy game, the opponent handed the game to the Chargers.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Funny Pics

Just surfing around I stumbled across a collection of 100 funny 'internet' pics. And by 'internet' I mean you need to understand the humor of cats, signs and Japanese Hentia...

The one I've posted is one of the better ones, if you ask me...you can view the full collection here.

Zappy Live At Dempsey's 11-21-07

So the infamous band Zappy performed on Thanksgiving Eve, which is out of character for the trio. They typically only play once every 5 or more years and here they are, performing twice within the past two years...maybe they are going big time? Just how big? You'll note the throngs of fans in the following video clip... the entire show was allegedly recorded and if I get a copy of it, I will post the entire show that will show that there were indeed people present to see Zappy perform other than myself. But this was the only clip that I took on my cell phone and of course I did so just before they kicked me out the show ended.

American Idol Star Arrested: Who Would Have Guessed

For two years I have railed against American Idol on it's crappiness and I made a (not so) bold prediction in my original rant "Why American Idol Sucks":

I'm just waiting for the headlines "Former American Idol Star Arrested..."
And low and behold, wouldn't you know it, a former American Idol finalist was just arrested all liquored and doped up. So of course I needed to instantly come back and record the obligatory "I told you so!" blog entry...

But of course no one needs to go back to July of this year to view my thoughts of Moss and Garnett going to the Patriots and Celtics because they both have proven me wrong...to this point. And then when you get down to it, is it really that tough to predict the demise of karaoke television stars? But regardless... it will not prevent me from reveling in my predicting prowess.

Every Cuss Word We Know, And I Feel Fine

Here's a fun video for you...

Set to REM's "End Of The World And I Feel Fine" song, "Every Cuss Word We Know" ... Obviously language not appropriate for children, but a fun video nonetheless...

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Let It Snow

As I have recently mentioned the past few days, winter is here and the snow is a plenty.

Here are 2 pics of the recent snowfall. I stuck a yardstick in the snowpile that amassed on top of my kid's small picnic table. The second pic is, obviously, a close up of the yardstick to show it's measurement of 12 inches.

Friday night there was exactly 0.0 inches of snow on that picnic table.

Ron Paul In '08

It looks like the Ron Paul Revolution is beginning to pick up some steam. Even though national polls seem to have Paul at a consistent 5% for the Republican nomination, Paul has consistently won viewer call-in polls after debates and has won many straw polls in several states.

One only needs to go to YouTube and type in Ron Paul to view any number of clips that have Paul's comments on his platform...all of which are very appealing to liberty-loving Americans. John McCain openly attacked Paul in the last debate - which, as Paul states, means that the front runners are beginning to become aware of his following.

The million dollar question, of course, will be whether or not the politician that becomes the 'internet sensation' has any chance of being a legitimate contender. Howard Dean was the '04 internet sensation and was done in short order.

Paul does have a 'fall back' option if he does not get the Republican nomination...that is, he could run as a Libertarian and although that likely won't do anything to help his chances, it at least keep him on the ballot and maybe the Libertarian party could benefit from the exposure Paul has given to many of the philosophies of Libertarians and more importantly, our the founding fathers of this country.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Weekend Recap

As I posted last week, winter has hit the barren wasteland and the forecasted snowfall of 3-5 inches was an underestimation. The official snowfall total was 7 inches but I think that is a conservative call to keep it close to their forecast... in my front yard, there is at least 10 inches of snow. And the forecast is for more snow starting tonight thru tomorrow for a total of 6 more inches... so that could mean no snow to a foot...

And what was the deal yesterday? For some reason I felt the need to party like a rock star... sure, I like to enjoy a beer or two on Sundays while I watch football, but for some reason I drank like a fish yesterday... don't feel too bad today with the exception of being fairly tired... I can hardly wait to go to sleep tonight!

Chargers 24 Chiefs 10, AFC West Leaders

The Chargers resembled the team that many have been waiting to see since the preseason. The Charger defense had 7 sacks and Antonio Cromartie had 2 interceptions to increase his NFL leading total to 8, Shawne Merriman had 2 sacks and a fumble recovery, LaDainian Tomlinson had 177 yards rushing and 2 touchdowns and overall, the Chargers looked good... Gates had a quiet day and Rivers did have an early interception to slightly mar the Chargers victory, but overall a good day for the Chargers.

To add to the Chargers win, the Broncos lost to the Raiders and now the Chargers have a 2 game lead in the AFC West. The Chargers have a road game against the Titans up next with the Lions, Broncos and Raiders down the stretch. The Chargers could gain some confidence and momentum with a good finish to the regular season and it that may be enough to help them in the playoffs...but I am still not convinced that the Chargers can beat a 'good' team.