The Non-Computer User Needs The Computer

I have to believe everyone knows a person that openly scorns the computer, the internet and technology in general. Anytime in general conversation someone mentions any 'tekkie' term, like the word computer, the non-computer user (let's refer to them as ncu from this point on) is usually very quick and will very confidently "I have no use for the internet or computers. Nothing but a waste of time and I don't have enough time for all that shit. Don't need them anyways." And go through life blissfully on...for they have defied the world and prove that you don't need a computer or the internet to survive in today's complex world. But let's get right down to the bottom of this... any ncu is basically proclaiming that they are stupid is what they really are doing.

So then, of course, the day comes...whatever the event may be, but it has and/or will happen again. That is, there is something on the internet or that needs to be done using a computer that the ncu will eventually need, and then what happens? Well everyone knows of course...the ncu, who has openly defied and cursed the magic electronic box, now gains so much reasons to hate computers and the internet because whatever they seeking to do using the computer will no-doubtedly not go well because the ncu doesn't even know the basics of computer use. So they will make a phone call to someone that may help them and their conversation may resemble something like this:

NCU: Where's Microsoft Works? That's the only program I've ever used and I know how to use
it!
Smart People: Uh, Works? That hasn't been made in almost 10 years, everyone uses Microsoft Word now.
NCU: Word? Well, where can I get Works, that's the only program I know.
Smart People: Try using Word, it's pretty much the same thing. Besides, does it really matter? If you haven't used a newer program than Works, are you sure you really know it that well anymore anyways?

(next conversation)

NCU: I'm on the internet and can't see the web site I want to go to.
Smart People: Ok, have you updated your web browser to make sure it is the most current?
NCU: What's a web browser? I'm just using the internet?
Smart People: Well, you need the web browser to view content on the internet...what program are you using to view web pages?
NCU: How can I find out?
Smart People: Click the help button and go to the about button.
NCU: Hey that's cool, it tells you right there... I am using Internet Explorer... oh, I could have told you that, that's what was printed under the little icon that I clicked, you should have just asked what icon I clicked...geez.
Smart People: Ok, looks like your version is up to date...is your connection to the internet working properly?
NCU: What connection would that be? I followed the instructions and have my printer and keyboard plugged in...even got the mouse to work.
Smart People: That's great...but no, you should be paying for some sort of internet connection...you usually have a modem that plugs into the phone jack or possibly the cable that you get your cable tv from.
NCU: I guess I don't follow you. I got my computer and set it all up and turned it on, wouldn't the internet come with a brand new computer?

These are just 2 of the typical conversations you would get from a ncu and in both cases, the ncu would leave their computer experience with more disgust and disdain for computers and the internet than they had prior too each experience. They will loudly and proudly gloat with other ncu's "So I bought this new computer and it didn't even come with Microsoft Works or the internet so what good are the pieces of shit?" An agreeing ncu will reply, "I hear ya. I had an email address for a while and I still haven't gotten any money from Bill Gates, Amazon.com and a bunch of other places that said that I would get money if I forwarded their emails to all my contacts...which I did. The internet and computers are just for morons!"