Cell Phone Usage Etiquette

I make no claims to being a social rule czar or etiquette guru, but I think it's time some basic cell phone usage rules finally be laid out and the enforcement of these rules need to take place immediately!

Rule 1:

Using your cell phone while driving. If you are unable or incapable of using your cell phone while you drive you must forfeit either the phone or your driver's license, your choice. If you are too dumb to realize that you are not driving properly while on the cell phone and that you should pull over to talk, then you are required to forfeit either your phone or your driver's license that very instant...no ifs, ands or buts.

Rule 2:

If your phone is ever heard making ANY noise during a movie, in a restaurant, at a meeting or essentially any place that is not your house or vehicle, it (the phone) should be destroyed, yes destroyed, immediately.

Rule 3:

Just because you are talking on a cell phone in public does not make you more important or oblivious to anyone that isn't talking on a cell phone at that time. I love the people that think they can maneuver through a line of people with a cell phone to their ear...oh yeah, that makes you so much more important and thus excuses you from all your discourtesy actions...moron. Breaking this rule will require you to either forfeit your phone or get beaten to the crowds delight, whichever you choose.

So there you have it... three basic rules I think we all can live with. So I encourage every person to begin immediate enforcement of these rules and I can guarantee society as a whole will see the benefits. Remember the last time you went out to eat and NOT heard a cell phone ring? I'm telling you we can have these times back again! Don't delay, act today!