Soon To Retire

Well to all my faithful blog readers it appears as if my status in society is about to change... I just recieved an email from the British Lottery Headquarters notifying me that I've won $2.5 million. Of course I've never heard of the British Lottery nor recall ever entering it, but it has to be legit because I got an email...never mind that it fails to mention my real name, address or even any identifying characteristics of myself, I am so overwhelmed with joy that is all inconsequential.

Because it is an European Lottery (as the email explains) the money will be dispersed from their London bank after I send them a check for only $5,000. The email further explains they are ready to process my claim IMMEDIATELY and if I fail to respond in a timely manner my winnings could go to someone else, so needless to say I had to mortgage my house over my lunch hour to come up with the necessary funds to send off post-haste.

I can hardly wait to receive my winnings and let me tell you, there will be a big party at my place when it comes....

/end sarcasm font